A Thousand Petals

Something to say (after a month away)

 
Well, not away literally, because I haven't been far.  But I suppose I needed to pause and reflect for a time.  Then, my momentum needed a "kick start" as well, so, with all that done, I'm back on the blog!

I have such an intense desire to color and enrich my life, with experiences and people.  How do I do that?  First, let me erase fear from the equation.  Done.  Now...(is it really that easy? maybe it always was.)

I have been following the lives of some wonderful people on facebook.   Then I came to a realization.  Spending hours watching other people live their lives is different from sharing experiences with them.  It becomes sort of like watching television.  You have to set limits.  I have been spending time that I should have spent out living.  Because of this I haven't had much to share.  Maybe I'm not the only person that has been doing this.  Maybe one day I can help someone solve these issues in their own life.  That's my dream.  That one day someone will say, "That's Angela.  Isn't she wonderful?  Let's read her history.  Wow!  Is that what her life was like back then?  She sounds like me!"

Yesterday, I made a list.

GOD.  HEALTH.  CURIOSITY.  CREATIVITY.

...are all I need to create the world I want to live in right here on this spot, in this corner of creation.

I suspect that opening my mind to the possiblities that exist in my own environment is the first thing.  Recognizing that I am a creature of habit, I need to become a bit of an explorer, and "get comfortable not knowing"  how everything (or even anything) is going to turn out.  So this blog will not only track my physical transformation, but also my emotional and spiritual.

Trust.  Trusting GOD.  "If you love Me, obey Me," Jesus advises.  My interpretation:  I have so much to show you.  There's so much more that your life can be.  The only way it's going to work is if you follow my instructions.  A pastor recently paraphrased, "How far do you want to go with Me?"  God waits so patiently for us.  We unfortunately get stuck in these holding patterns.  So many people are stuck that we've decided that this is all there is.

I've been catching myself making negative comments, having negative thoughts, and in effect, tearing down rather than building up.  Every action is a choice.  And in choosing, we determine our destiny.  Our words are a decision.  What we eat is a decision.  Love is a decision.  We can't love based on who we feel is deserving.  If Christ did that, I would be doomed.

Last night I watched the movie, "Fireproof," again.  I loved every moment.  This morning I was still thinking about what Love really means.  The caring acts of kindness, the patience, the unconditional favor, the forgiveness...  I realized that God doesn't only want us to show this to our spouse, but to everybody.  I guess I knew that intellectually, but I honestly haven't been showing it.  Then God said, "If you love me, obey Me." That's how we show we love Him, by doing what he asks us to do.  In this way, our everyday lives reflect Him. 

I want people to think of my name and think of God's love.

 

Saturday Sundries...tasty treats and Oprah.

 

Today's (and yesterday's!) delicious salad, primarily made of tomatoes (which I've been totally hooked on lately...must be my body's message), a little chopped romaine lettuce, and creamy curry dressing.  I made too much dressing, actually, so I put 2/3 of it into a container in the fridge to make raw
"cheese" spread for tomorrow.

Yesterday I picked up a copy of the November 2010 issue of the Oprah Magazine.  What drew me was the cover:  It read, "What's Your True Calling?"  Deep down, I feel like I (kind of) already know, but, my vision needs to be more crystallized.  One thing that impressed me in the series of articles was the implication that when we realize we love doing something, our calling may or may not be the "logical" career choice that we might connect with that.  We ultimately need to consider all aspects of what brings us true joy, all the things that, when we do them, we lose track of time. 

This is a very exciting time for me, just to imagine myself ushering others to the same realizations that I've come to, that they can choose to honor that desire (De-Sire, of the Father) within them and live the life they were born for.  This is a wonderful time in life where so many choices are available to us. 

Here are a few visuals that are part of my vision...every day my task is to make them more and more a part of what flows through me.

 
 
 


 

Mommy said, "Put the bucket down where you are."  To that end, I came up with a concept for the town in which I live.  Currently, the most visible aspects of living in my area are retail shopping and fast food.

 To increase awareness and participation in the raw vegan and holistic lifestyle and to increase creative flow in my community, I am considering opening a studio center, that offers wellness classes and services, music classes, natural aromatherapy body products, a mini health bookstore, an art gallery and light raw vegan fare by day.  In the evenings I would host music performances.  I would also sponsor a local raw food lifestyle festival. 

 They say you should dream BIG!

 

 

Thankful Thursday

 It's a rainy day today.  What a wonderful day to be grateful for countless blessings.  The rain is falling, and I can walk/run in it and feel the drops.  The rain falls on me and gives my skin and hair some much needed moisture.   The earth is getting hydrated.  So must I.  Today I am reminded to drink all the water I need...at least a gallon.  That's only 4 of my one-quart mason jars.  I can do that.  Thank you, GOD, for the rain today, and for the sunshine that's sure to follow.

Today's bowl of yummyness....

...contains:  one large tomato, 2 medium zucchini (peeled), dill, fresh garlic, sea salt, curry and fresh basil...vitamixed, and voila!

 
On top, I placed two basil leaves, and a sprinkle of nutritional yeast.  Scrum-diddly-umptious!  Whenever I make something that comes out really good I like to run and write it down (little sheet on the right) before I forget what I did.

Baby Steps to a Fulfilling Life.

I met a wonderful woman today, online, named Dana Smith, founder of Spiritual Essence Yoga.  I've been finding alot of inspiration and motivation in her blog posts.  I've been struggling with taking steps.  Struggling with fear, I guess.  Fear of what?  I don't really know.  But today I received the message that it's ok.  It's the "doing" that counts.  The steps.  All the possibilities, all the ideas, all the creativity, everything I see myself doing inside my head...can be made real.  Someone posted the quote (paraphrased) "You can always trust an unknown future to a known God." 

Some of the things I want to do are radical.  I'm the type that looks for assurance.  I usually "need to know ahead of time" whether something is going to work out or not before I try.  That thought pattern has short-circuited much of my life experiences to date.  All these 39 years, and where am I?  What have I achieved, in terms of my own dreams?  It's time to take a step forward. 

I believe that all my answers are already inside me.  After much introspection, I have found that to be true in most cases.  The only opinion that matters is my own.  The exciting/scary part is that there's no blueprint...no preprinted guideline to follow as I take these steps.  But part of me asks myself, would I want to follow one, anyway?

The list of things I would like to do is long, and it seems to grow daily.  As I reach deeper inside myself, as I watch and listen to other people, gathering bits of inspiration here and there, as I see things around me that spark new ideas, I realize that God has an amazing plan for me, and that maybe my ultimate purpose is to inspire someone else who has an even greater task.

So starting today, not only will I be posting about my raw food adventure, but I commit to also post at least one small step forward that I took toward the Life I want to live.

Some of the things I would like to do:

Change careers.  Help others heal and experience vibrant health.

Perform.

Record.

Own a beautiful, spacious home with a large outdoor space and a garden.

Create.  Paintings, hair jewelry, crocheted clothing, quilts, pottery, herbal bodycare products.

Write a book.

Organize a raw vegan alliance in my community and host public events.

Dance.

Practice yoga.

Explore.

Run marathons.

 

                          May God help me keep my mind and heart renewed.

Happy World Raw Food Day 10-10-10!!

I'm so glad I'm a raw vegan.

I am so glad to be raw!   One thing my water fast did was wipe the slate clean.  Though toxins are still present from the environment and poor food choices prior to going 100% raw and will take years to clear away, taking a break from all food caused me to become so much more grounded, centered and decisive about what I eat.  There's a whole world of possibility and choice in raw foods.  And I plan to do it right this time, listening to my body and keeping the fats and sodium low.

And...I put on my size 16 jeans today. They fit...Yay!!

Uh oh....Why did I do that?

When my water fast was over, I started  drinking diluted orange juice, and I was feeling really good, so  yesterday evening I drank my whole quart of tomato garlic smoothie.  It tasted soooo good.  Unfortunately...

...that's not really the best way to break a fast.  Now I'm paying for it.  I have had indigestion all day.  Couldn't even finish my green juice.  So, tomorrow, I decided to go back on water for a day, just to give my body a chance to clear it all out.  Oh, and I also took a dose of Para-Cleanse and Para-Stroy (probably not the best choice either, at least the cleanse part).  One thing I've learned about myself is that I am an extremist who needs to learn to be gentle with her body.  The sad part is, I know better.  Oh well.  Knowing and doing are two different things. 

I'm kind of mad at myself, but, as Brandi Rollins told me recently, "It's a process, and I need to trust my intuition." 

Yesterday, one person noticed that I look a little slimmer.  I think when I'm able to fit into the next size down, the difference will be more apparent.  But mainly, I really want to just feel happy inside my own skin.  I don't know what size that will be, I guess it's wherever I end up once I get my lifestyle up and running like a well-oiled machine.  Today I tried on a pair of jeans in size 16 and they almost fit.  My plan is that by this time next week, they will. 

 

Juicy Juices

 
These are the juices I made this evening.  The one on the left is actually a smoothie (so good!)  Glad everyone in my house likes garlic...  ;)  I'm going to take my green juices with me to work in the a.m.

I discovered a new favorite green...arugula!  Great for people who like spinach, but has a little certain 'something' extra.  I'm going to try some of the recipes by Brandi Rollins after I'm done with these tomorrow. 

 

DAAAAAAY SEVEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
I did it!  I did it!  I did it!  I did it!   (well the day's not over, but...)  I DID IT!

I made it to day seven.  Thank you, Lord, for giving me the strength and motivation to endure.  Thank you for the support and encouragement of others. 

Today, the scale said 214.  I have lost 16 lbs this week.  I drank nothing but water with a little lemon squeezed in (for cleansing) for the first six days.  Today I drank water and had a little diluted fresh squeezed orange juice.  My energy was just too low, and I had to go back to work (today is monday).  Let's just say, I don't work in a bank or a subdued, quiet office with smooth jazz playing all day.

So what's next?  Actually, in a sense, I will still be fasting.  But now I will move to green juices.  I'm so excited about building this body and taking it to the highest level of health that I can.  After that, maybe juices, smoothies, and solid whole fruits and vegetables.   To avoid:   fat (already have enough in me!)  and added sodium (vegetables naturally contain it).

Keep tuning in!  Comments are welcomed.

Love (always unfolding),

Angela